Psychic Movie Critic – Red Riding Hood

I’m going to play Psychic Movie Critic and draw assumptions only from watching the trailer of the new movie Red Riding Hood. I’ve done this a few times with friends but now I’m putting it on the line, let’s see how wrong I am.

Red Riding Hood stars Gary Oldman. Oldman will be good. He always is, but it’s a 50/50 chance the movie is good. It’s directed by the Twilight director (Catherine Hardwick) – not a boost of confidence for me. I must be one of the 5 people on Earth that doesn’t like the Twilight Series. The trailer looks similar to Twilight; there are two people who are in love with the lead girl (Amanda Seyfried). Most likely one of them will be the werewolf – sound familiar?

I predict the movie will be slow. Maybe even Bram Stokers Dracula slow. Sexy love scenes, lots of tension of “who is the wolf” but I’ll bet we don’t see the wolf all the much.  The wolf will attack at night, the shots will be chaotic and who knows what we’ll really see.

If the movie is really lame the wolf will be the jealous love interest of the girl (the blond kid). If it’s got a bit more of a twist, it will be Lucas Haas.

I’m also going to bet that all the high production value shots are in the trailer. I’ll guess that most of the movie takes place on a sound stage in the “village” they created. There are some great shots but they scream “trailer” shots to get teenagers rushing to theaters.

It reminds me a combination of Twilight, From Hell, Tristan & Isolde. None of these I liked.

I love mythic stories, but Little Red Riding Hood is a fairy tale and there is a difference. Mythic stories are designed to be a path of how to live a blissful life. A fairy tale is for entertainment or to be a cautionary tale. I’m sure this won’t be in the film, but the message behind the fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood is to not stray away from because people might look like people you know but they are really going to eat you.

If the movie has a simple plot like that, then great, it serves the fairy tale.

Overall, I’m going to skip it and watch Hoodwinked instead – that was a much more creative way to tell the 700 year old fairy tale.

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